Hello, you have recently expressed interest in joining the Men's Group, and you are very much welcome!
~ Please read the agreements we wish to hold with all members ~
🦒 INTRO
Olivier and Hans started the men's group in 2020, with the clear inspiration that there's a felt quality in the energy in the room when men come together, and share honestly and vulnerably about what is alive in them, with an awareness of needs.
We’ve held this space with a strong intention to keep it safe, trusting, and we’ve been satisfied with this, which made it very meaningful for us and many of the participants over the years. As the group is growing, we are seeing that the need for the protection in this space becomes slightly more delicate, and therefore we have formulated this document, encapsulating the spirit that we wish to keep alive for the men's group.
Mostly, we hope that whatever you read here is evident to you and needs no further explanation. If you read something, however, that is triggering or not aligned with your values, or perhaps you are missing some needs being cared for in the way we are outlining these proposed agreements, please reach out.
🦒 GENERAL CORE AGREEMENTS
Our general intention for the group, that we are requesting you to check in with yourself about, and hopefully agree with, is that you hold a clear intention to show up to the men's group with an awareness of needs, with the intention to listen and be aware of others' needs, to share honestly, but also to protect yourself when needed, and to embody the awareness that this group is a non-violent communication based group.
🦒 CONFIDENTIALITY
Following this is a strong intention for confidentiality of the stories being shared within the group. If at any point you would like to share with someone something that has been voiced, or that happened during our time together, please make sure the person is unrecognisable in the elements that are exposed elsewhere.
Opinions are welcome—with the willingness to connect to the deeper layers of feelings, needs and maybe the experience that brought that opinion. We believe we connect most deeply when we connect to the vulnerability beneath our judgments.
If you feel you cannot agree to this, then the NVC men's group might not be for you. But before you decide so, please reach out to Olivier or Hans. Perhaps there is a conversation to be had that might resolve the issue.
🦒 PROMOTING EVENTS IN WHATSAPP ETC
Mostly, we would really like it if, before you send any kind of external promotion of events or other groups etc, in order to care for the ease, flow, efficacy, and simplicity of the NVCMG, that you check with yourself: how does the balance feel, between my attendance of the men's group and the amount of external links I'm posting here?
For example, if you have come once, 3 years ago, it might feel off for you and potentially for us and other participants when you also send a monthly invitation to your event.
Also, even if you are a regular--let's say you attend +/- 30% of our meetings--and share weekly updates on your NVC course, that too might miss some balance.
If you're not sure if something is aligned with this sensitivity, you can always reach out to Olivier or Hans to check what we think about it or what we feel about it. Not in the sense that we are the judges, but more in a sense that we've been carrying this group for about 5 years and we want so much to have continuity in our enjoyment of this co-creative project and we would love to offer the guidance to what intuitively aligns with it.
We also ask that you do not use the contact information of participants, for instance their phone numbers in the WhatsApp or some email sent, to put people on your emailing list.
We really want you to be free. And that's why we're not wanting to think in rules. At the same time, we hope you resonate with the wishes for the group outlined in the above.
We welcome you again, and thanks for being part of the men's group!
Hope to see you soon.
Groet, regards, Bisous, Hug
Hans and Olivier
